February has the theme of heart medicine written all over it. It is National Heart Awareness Month, with special attention being given to educating women on warning signs unique to our gender. As the Celtic goddess Brighid lit the fire of inspiration and regeneration on Imbolc to honor the stirring of an approaching Spring, the golden gates of the Chinese New Year got blasted open with a 15 day celebration to honor the Year of the Water Dragon. We will have a glorious Full Moon in Leo on February 7, 2012; the same day that Saturn goes retrograde in Libra. And of course we have Valentine’s Day on February 14th, which can either offer a playful moment for sharing our love or a means to sink into self judgment or drift into longing about relationships. It might even take us back to our schooldays when we had a shoebox filled with valentines containing mixed messages and confusing feelings about the word “love”.

Photo: Pixie_Bebe

Saturn, the planet that takes a magnifying glass to the structure and patterning of our lives, rotates through each zodiac sign for 2 and 1/2 years. Having taken up residence in Libra for the last two years, it has been helping us understand and improve the Libra qualities of our lives: balance, justice, fairness, beauty and yes, one-on-one relationships. As Saturn is ending its relentless tour of duty on October 5; the retrograde process offers the final inspection for these areas so we can take responsibility for meaningful change in how we show up and interact in the world of relationships.

This full moon in Leo offers us a bright communal flame to re-light our own inner fire. Leo rules the heart and features integrity, leadership and creativity. This energy encourages us to put our “heart” into whatever we do, inviting us to examine the health and wholeness of our heart functioning. We often refer to the heart as a driving force motivating our actions, thoughts and feelings, yet this vital engine is fueled by beliefs; just like any other dimension of our human experience. Each of us interprets the sensations we associate with the heart. It may serve as a place of peace and wellspring of love or it may reinforce the shadow behaviors that contribute to leaking precious energy or wasting our time on people, places and things that are not serving our higher selves.

Wisdom teachings of all traditions tell us that it is the spiritual heart that offers the internal compass for guidance towards what is best for us. The soul and heart are interchangeable terms that refer to the essential core within us that holds understanding of our true needs for personal growth and manifestation of our potential. The animating energy for this spiritual heart is love and the generator is passion. It is good to keep in mind that the energetic heart is a complex vessel that has many facets and dimensions within that need to be cleansed, energized and connected so that the soul can hold court in this golden chamber of divine love and light. Just like the box of valentines from our childhood, the heart can store the mixed messages of delight and hurtful memories of our life experiences. This fear and false protection can turn into resistance, constriction and numbness in the heart center. These energetic blocks can be just as dangerous as the physical ones for our health and well being.

This full moon phase holds the remedy we need to take back ownership of our heart. By aligning with the energy of optimism fueled by a divine fire, we can re-ignite our passion without the drama of old perceptions and attachments. Puran and Susanna Bair, founders of Heart Rhythm Meditation offer clear and deep methods for healing the heart in their book, Energize Your Heart: “When your heart is energized, the world becomes a much more beautiful place. Do not be concerned about protecting your open heart. What comes out of your heart has more impact upon you than what comes toward your heart.” Building a bridge from the will to the heart requires courage, faith and forgiveness.

Just like the activists who have found strength in their outrage over the imbalance of power that shuts out full access to resources, we need to break through the resistance and occupy our hearts!

Here is a simple visualization/meditation that utilizes the energies of the full moon combined with the Saturn and Mars retrograde to reclaim ownership of the heart center:

In a quiet setting allow breaths to deepen and lengthen. Balancing inhales and exhalations, allow the breath to drop down into the center of your chest. Imagine the sphere of the full moon encasing the heart center so that the depth, range and wholeness of the heart center can be rejuvenated with this nourishing sense of fullness. Continue breathing with a shift of focus to the crown of the head, connecting with the energy of the sun, which is connected with the heart and Leo. Allow the strength, vitality, power and warmth of the sun’s rays to flow into each in breath, washing the walls and interior sections of the heart. Allow any trapped memories and associated fears; emotions and mindsets to be burned off like the morning fog and cleared with each exhale. Finally, remembering that the sun is a star, let the bright positive magic of your North Star reanimate the passion, love and buoyancy of your healthy heart, returning to its natural rhythm, beating a strong and stable heartbeat. Finally, anchor your intentions into the sacred chamber within the heart center so your soul is back in charge of the epicenter of your life, emanating courage and optimism.

As Leo also focuses on creativity and the needs of the inner child, you may want to make a Valentine’s Day box decorated with images that symbolize what makes your heart happy and joyful. Fill it with little notes of prayers, dreams and wishes for yourself, family, community and our beloved planet so we can make 2012 the year of the Happy Heart~

As we are searching for clues to understand what 2012 holds for us, these astrology cycles in January and February offer the mystical cornerstones to frame a big cosmic picture of change, evolution and possibility. As discussed in my recent January newsletter, the first full moon is offering us the wise gaze of the Grandmother Moon who is watching over us and making good on the prophetic teachings of several lineages that 2012 is the Return of the Great Mother.

Further signs of this restoration can be seen as we approach the first new moon on 1-23-2012 in sign of Aquarius which is also the beginning of the Chinese New Year and a Mars retrograde cycle in Virgo. Just as full moons are times of creative fullness, revelations and wholeness, new moons offer a respite into the quiet darkness of the void to reflect, release and renew. As all of life begins with a seed imbued with the code of its potential that must make a journey into form, the new moon offers a window of protection for that which needs the comfort of the dark to be free to commune with Great Mystery. It is felt that this is the most powerful time to do deep healing work of exploring what exists in the hidden parts of the self for understanding, cleansing and rebirth.  It is only after preparing the soul’s garden that we can entrust seeds of our hopes and dreams with a healthy environment resonant with growth.

The first new moon phase we enter into is in the sign of Aquarius. I like to think of this sign as the rebel with a cause as it has a bit of detachment and lack of sentimentality that is required if we are to let go of the attachments to the past that may limit the spiritual quest for self knowledge and actualizing one’s potential. Aquarius pushes us to think outside the box, exploring new possibilities for the self and for humanity. As Aries is moving through Uranus; ruler of Aquarius; there is a bit more of an impatient, fiery tone that can cause us to feel more of an impetus to change our lives right way.

The first new moon of the year often corresponds with the 15-day celebratory cycle of the Chinese New Year. The guardian of each year is part of a 12-year rotation featuring an array of animals as well as the five elements. 2012 hit the jackpot landing on the dragon, thought to be the most powerful energetic force casting good fortune, endurance and happiness. This dragon rides in on the elemental wave of water, which serves to soften, sooth and bring a yin-like balance to the intensity of the Dragon. The last time this combination reigned as the animal gatekeeper of the cosmic calendar was in 1952!

All animals hold special wisdom teachings that can be understood when we respectfully witness the life patterns unique to the species, yet the dragon is the only one of the 12 in the Chinese zodiac that is mythical in nature. How perfect that a creature associated with magic, imagination and overcoming our fears is leading us into a new era of transformative change. When I realized that this was the year of the water dragon my thoughts immediately went to Kuan Yin, the beloved goddess of mercy and compassion. Kuan Yin, like the water dragon, holds the power and grace of the divine feminine principle emanating unconditional love, forgiveness and liberation from suffering. Ancient and contemporary stories in language and imagery demonstrate her endless abilities to shape shift into as many as 33 manifestations to reach those in need of a dose of loving kindness and protection. To me, this Great Mother ascended master is ushering in 2012 on the back of the mystical dragon in support of a cosmic synchronicity to support the re-balancing and healing of humanity.

As I was meditating on the dragon I remembered a day years ago when I went to the Art Institute with my daughter’s class. First we toured the Asian art section, where many versions of Kuan Yin could be seen as part of the cultural history. As we moved into the section of European art, there were images of the hero/knight in active quest to free the princess held captive by the dangerous dragon in the dark cave. What struck me was not as much the cultural stereotypes of female and male per se but more the separation of the feminine into two aspects: the acceptable depiction as seen in the passive princess and her wild passionate power contained in the dragon that lived in the darkness of the cave. Really this separation of the mysterious undomesticated aspect of self was exiled from both genders. During this meditation, I was taken to a cave to meet a wisdom keeper and ally in support of healing disowned parts of the self, the shadow and ultimately reclaiming this primal power. Only a misunderstood mythic creature like a dragon could teach me to nurture rather than reject unacceptable aspects held in the bonds of outgrown judgment.

By accepting and appreciating the dragon, we can set the distortions free and liberate our energy and self determined path. As the revered Buddhist teacher Jack Kornfield states, “There are statues of fierce demons standing guard at the gates of most Buddhist temples. To enter the sacred space of the temple you must pass directly between them. The need for transformation of our demons is universal. We all suffer at times from our personal demons, whether those of confusion, anger, self-hatred, trauma, longing or loss. Collectively the force of these same demons create enormous suffering on the earth. We will have to face the demons with a great heart of compassion. We can learn to transform their energy and find freedom in their midst.” Another brilliant contemporary teacher of Tibetan Buddhism, Tsultrim Allione devotes an entire book to this quest for resolving inner conflict in “Feeding Your Demons“.

This auspicious 15-day window from 1-23-12 to the full moon of 2-7-12 is further supported by the beginning of a Mars retrograde cycle in Virgo, which shifts the aggressive warrior energy of Mars so that we can temper the Dragon using its fearless transformation energy to venture into our selves; dissolving self-sabotaging obstacles to make peace with ourselves. It is only with peace in our hearts that we can serve as activists for a more just and caring world.

As Virgo rules daily rituals and routines that support work and health, this new moon phase is a perfect time to initiate simple rituals that support and strengthen our desire to practice self love. This intention can be infused with any task that requires attention to personal care, the most simple being breathing in love and out fear or any two words that have associations with enhancing the quality of our lives and detaching from the portable prisons of our thoughts.

So open the doors in your house and heart to release old grudges, attitudes, patterns and habits letting the winds of change liberate mindsets, behaviors and emotions that do not support your higher aspirations. Practice acceptance and surrender to all that comes with the blessings of the water dragon as we ride these waves in service to the co-creative dream for our possibility. And keep some of this enchanted water to nourish your magical 2012 seeds of hopes and dreams!

Like most of us, I have been anticipating how the “reality” of 2012 would feel once the page on the calendar turned from 12-31-11 to 1-1-12. Reality itself has become more subjective with the amount of upheaval, change and synchronicity that can cause us to ask, “did that really happen or did I imagine it?” on a regular basis. As a student of all things mystical that can translate into our practical lives, I have found astrology to be a tremendously useful tool to bridge these realms. This ancient practice can serve to guide us through our modern age of transformational waves and shifts on all levels.

As I was wondering about how we could better navigate the uncharted waters we were sailing into, I became aware of the significance of this full moon as a positive force that, like most key remedies, can be hidden in plain sight. Most spiritual teachers and elders are speaking of the importance of the re-awakening and anchoring of leadership to feminine principles of creativity and care for all life. Several years ago, the Dalai Lama stated at a lecture that the western woman would heal the world. This requires that all of us, men and women alike, need to go within to cultivate a true understanding and meaningful relationship with the sacred feminine. We must nurture these seeds of deep and rich understanding that connect us to the most mystical core of the universal soul.

While this can sound confusing and overwhelming, the most natural way to surrender to this kind of instinctive spiritual knowing is to remember that we all began our journey held in the womb of the mother. This concept can sometimes trigger a strong reaction, activating our resistance born from challenging maternal relationships and cultural programming. Though individuation is essential to our selfhood, we may have separated from our mothers without remembering that we can still be connected to the greater spirit of Mother love. The mother/child bond is so powerful that it can engulf us in fear of dependency or losing this connection with source. We are surrounded by belief systems that tell us it is weak to need support but at the same time, we are aware that we were once so dependent, tiny and in need of total care. This contradiction can sit in the base of our shadow motives and create an overly developed need for self-sufficiency, endless craving for comfort or general tension with being “mothered” by the feminine.

If we could really remember what it was like to be babies; we would get in touch with the primal energetic understanding that the warm protective nurturance we seek is already part of us. Being a therapist, I am acutely aware of how many people did not, even in utero or early infancy, get a safe maternal haven to set the template for this vibration. However, that is exactly why most of us can remember a safe place in nature where we took refuge, whether the backyard tree, a family pet, nearby pond or the rhythms of a spring rainstorm. We were calmed by an aspect of our living natural universe that brought us into a state of internal peace. In this centering, we felt the comfort that can be traced to the heartbeat of self and the source of life; the Mother.

Most mystical and all Earth-honoring indigenous teachings are centered in the understanding that we are all connected to a physical source which holds the energetic resonance of the Divine Mother. As the glue of the cosmic family, she fiercely protects and loves all of her children. This mother is a creatrix who holds not only the planet but the universe in her endless lap of love. She is grieving the reckless ways we have forgotten how to love something enough to protect it, just like Demeter grieved the loss of her daughter Persephone. By reclaiming our birth experience as conscious adults, we can have access to a powerful remedy for fear. If we can calm our fears, we can use our inner knowledge to step beyond worry into co-creative conscious living. It is a proven fact that when kids know they are safe and nourished, they are more confident learners and can tap into their innate potential. We are all those grown up kids with an ever-present maternal resource. Do we have the courage to let go of the self-protective coating of resistance so that we can surrender into the arms of the Cosmic Mother? Are we willing to let her hold us as we strengthen our collective core and take higher ownership of humanity?

When I realized that this particular full moon, coming just 9 days into 2012, was in the sign of Cancer (the sign ruled by the Moon), I felt we were being protected from adversity. Cancer organizes where and how we give and receive nurturing. It is the bindi point of the Cosmic Mother Tree with roots into our ancestry and branches reaching into Great Mystery. How perfect that as we are embarking on the completion of a cycle where we are learning what happens when we forget about balance, respect and reverence, we are cast in the moon’s loving rays. This milky energy is being absorbed into our bones and is awakening our DNA codes to help us relearn how to trust, surrender and get focused on what is truly important. In other words — to wake up in mindfulness.

Consider this full moon to be the “Grand Dame” of lunar events for the year as this Great Mother energy will continue to be reactivated in each cycle of 2012. Normally each moon is influenced by a sign for two and a half days until it goes void and then moves into the next sign. For example, on January 10th, the moon moves into Leo for two and a half days and keeps cycling through the signs for each of the thirteen full moons. What’s different this year is that the last full moon of 2012 returns to the sign of Cancer! This unusual mother moon tent will offer us protection while we go through our collective rebirth.

Though we do not know where the cosmic forces will take us over these much-anticipated 365 days; we are being held in a luminous net of support that invites us to have a good time, take care of each other, live our gifts and return home intact. As Andrew Harvey states, “the future of the world depends on the full restoration of the Sacred Feminine in all its tenderness, passion, divine ferocity and surrendered persistence”. Let’s welcome this port in the dark night as we await the dawning of a new era of hard work, hope and possibility.

The holiday season is richly textured with multiple opportunities to put our spiritual practice into action. We often hear, “it is better to give than to receive,”  which encourages us to focus on the joys of sharing with others in our lives. There is also a hidden message in this saying that points to the shadow aspects of our desire to be on the receiving end of the exchange. Aligning with the magical wonder of winter stories that tell of miracles, generosity and faith allows us to remember those we love and expand that kindness from our small circles to the entire planetary family. As all in life seeks balance; learning to accept the gifts with an open heart is essential for the cycle to be complete.

If we look to the key spiritual teachings of detachment from expectation, choosing not to take things personally, and having clear intentions, the season can flow with more joy, humor and ease. Remaining true to one’s self can be challenging, yet what part of life doesn’t ask that of us?

The area I tend to struggle with the most has to do with feeling that whatever I give is not enough. I grew up in a family where the prevailing attitude was “if a little is enough; more is better”. I also have a tendency to think I should be able to do everything on my own (and in reality can’t do much of anything without the support of others) so at times I can feel overwhelmed with gratitude shadowed by guilt and shame that can translate into fretting over “giving” enough. This can be exasperated by feeling the depth of pain and suffering that exists in the world and feeling like nothing I give could ever really make a difference because the need is so great.

In truth, we have no idea the impact we have on others in our lives, from the birds we feed in the park to smiles we meet strangers with on our daily path or the moment we take to really listen to someone. I had a truly humbling experience years ago regarding impacting someone’s life in a way I had never expected. I had recorded two meditation tapes (yes tapes) and was at a wholistic conference with many more popular and well-known authors. We were asked to sit at a table to sign books and answer questions. Feeling very silly and small next to these experts with lines of people waiting to talk to them, I was getting ready to leave when a woman came up to me and told me that she listened to my tapes until they broke. She said they got her through her chemotherapy treatments and was so grateful I had made them. I was overwhelmed with authentic recognition as it so clearly came from her heart to mine. More importantly, that was the real reason I had recorded the meditations to begin with so we came full circle.

Another powerful indigenous saying, “as above so below” reminds us to look at our world as a reflection of spirit. From that reference point, nature can teach us so much about trusting that the mystery of reaching the perfect balance of giving and receiving is possible. I learned this particular lesson from nursing my children. They ate until they were satisfied rather than when the measured amount in the bottle was empty. It was amazing how quickly I surrendered into the ease of this exchange and felt protective of the wisdom that these little souls understood. Each of us holds this sacred understanding if we really take the time to be a witness to our own experience rather than reacting to behavior or preconceived programing.

I encourage us all to shift the phrase to “giving is receiving”. If we give from our mindful hearts as a means of expressing our true gratitude and love, than it is sure to wash back over our consciousness as well. In spite of all the doubts and uncertainty; I still delight in the ritual of gifting.

For eleven years, Everyday Medicine Woman has been offering an annual goddess gathering. The first seven years were held in a local retreat center near Chicago so as many women as felt called to participate could weave into our sacred hoop. As I had created and maintained this matrix from the “mother” era of my life, when I began my initiation into “regeneropause” (beautifully coined term for menopause by Barbara Marx Hubbard), I felt a primal surge to shift the gatherings from the Midwest to explore locales that gave us unique access to sacred feminine lineage energies. In this way, we could further activate and enhance our individual and collective spiritual path. Since women can get so depleted in our everyday lives, it was important to me that we be nourished and restored not only spiritually but in all ways.

Each gathering has a theme and 2011 was dedicated to honoring the power of butterfly medicine as teacher of the metamorphosis. This wisdom would help us face the challenges of this evolving era as modern women carrying ancient timeless knowledge in service as sacred feminine activists. On October 22nd, we pitched our moon tent in Tulum, Mexico for the fourth time. We always choose dates that get us as close to the end of hurricane season as possible, while still being able to benefit from summer rates. The first time we journeyed to Tulum, it was right after a level 4 hurricane had hit the area. Much of what we experienced that year was impacted by the profound cleansing and raw vulnerability of the land, coupled with the generosity and kindness of the heart-centered medicine carriers at Maya Tulum resort, our spiritual Yucatan home.

After I chose the dates for this year’s retreat, I remembered that we would be in Tulum for a strong Scorpio new moon as well 10-28-2011, a date calculated by some Mayan calendar cosmologists, such as Barbara Handclow, as the end of the 26,000 year Mayan era of time. However, many other noted and respected authorities of the Mayan cosmo-vision, such as John Major Jenkins and the beloved Jose Arguelies (who crossed the cosmic rainbow earlier this year), firmly hold to the end of the era on 12-21-2012. I wondered what might happen while we were in the Yucatan over this auspicious week.

I got my answer on Monday, the third day of the trip, when I was greeted by my sisters, medicine staff and partners-in-adventure: Robin and Heather, with the news that a hurricane might be headed our way. We shared the news with our sacred hoop right before we were to begin a twinned ceremony of the Temezcal (Mayan sweat lodge for purification) and labyrinth walk dedicated to offering prayers for ourselves, families and all of humanity. We knew at that moment that no matter what unfolded in the next 24 hours, it was no accident that we were called to experience this adventure as something very deep stirred in the magic of the night skies. 

The following morning, we all got up early to discover that the hurricane was gathering its strength and setting course for  the Tulum/Cancun area. It was colder and late in the season so the local folks felt that it might turn north but the government had issued a coastal area evacuation for Wednesday at noon. This was also a new moon day (two months prior, Hurricane Irene plummeted onto the East Coast on a new moon day as well). We changed our flights to Thursday and planned to move to a safe hotel in Cancun but information by trusted sources urged us  to get out of the area on Wednesday. Several of the woman were able to re-route their flights for Wednesday but for 17 of us, the options had closed up as all flights out of Cancun were booked.

A core group of dedicated goddesses sat down after lunch to see how we could manifest a way to open the friendly skies. We remembered that Merida, the capital city of the Yucatan, had an airport that served major carriers. The only hitch was that it was four hours away. Mary Ellen, a seasoned world traveler, contacted her amazingly patient sister and together with a brave airline agent helped us get 17 women going to three different destinations onto a 7:00 a.m. plane to Houston. Fortunately, the programming of the trip was designed so that the most important medicine work to activate the multifaceted intentions of the retreat had already been accomplished. It was clear that the shedding of historical features causing blocks and imbalances were clearing and potent and accelerated seeds for change had been planted in the darkest part of each sister’s divine feminine assemblage point within the soul of self.   

After dinner, we were preparing to create an ancestral apuchetta (sacred stone mound that is consecrated to become a permanent site on the land) honoring the ones who came before us with song and prayer and summon our divine possibilities by creating dream bundles. As I was beginning to herd the sisters, we got a visitation from our spirit ally; a glorious black butterfly who danced into the dining hall and landed on Robin’s cake to join us for dessert. As the women were all taking our situation with a level of grace and humor beyond imagination, this manifestation of our guide gave our hearts the gift we needed and validation that our work was being supported and acknowledged by the unseen realm. When I inquired about this amazingly luminous creature, our Mayan chef said that this was the butterfly of water and light. These were the butterflies that came with the hurricanes. Some of the women who were out at the beach (while the re-routing crew were working on the phones) also reported the sighting of a stunning rainbow; the same vibrational medicine we had been working with to support the cosmic shifts that were in play.

In the dead of the Mexican night, we began our exodus to Merida. Four hours later, seventeen tired sisters poured out of two vans only to see a group of nuns at the airport! We knew we were fine. Internet sites were reporting that the hurricane known as Lady Rina was expanding to a category 3. While the journey home was long, it remained calm and quiet. Over the next 24 hours, the magical event had contracted to a tropical storm before touching the shore. After getting some sleep, we reunited the Chicago group (plus two East coast sisters via Skype) on Friday. Though none of us could really process what had happened, we had all been changed and were deeply bonded to one another. Not yet able to gain greater awareness  about the real depth and powerful initiatory awakening that was the gift of this unique time together, some beginning thoughts were forming.

I believe that for each of us there is one lesson from this classroom that is staring right at us with so many others timed to open as we move forward in our lives. Mine has to do with change. That was the goddess card I got when we arrived, along with feminine consciousness. The important teaching that Lady Rina offered is to learn that I can’t control life but I can choose how I move with it. This dress rehearsal for the other changes that may be heading my way has helped me to see and learn so much about myself. It has also given me an appreciation for the level of guidance and support that is all around me – way beyond what I already had known to be true. This group of women proved to be the greatest example of the power of the feminine. I was in awe of how selfless, mature and giving every member of our group was in offering their talents and gifts to the group. From executive leadership, tender care-giving, hilarious one-liners or headache medication – each time someone needed anything, there was an immediate remedy supplied with unconditional love.

At the collective level, I wondered if the hurricane threat gave the land a break from the tourists to re-balance and cleanse in preparation for the powerful turning of the galactic hands of time aligning with the planetary shifts that signal a new era for humanity. While sitting in circle with my sisters, I remembered hearing a talk offered by John Kimmey, renowned carrier of the Hopi Prophecies (who also made his walk to the spirit world this past spring), who told us that this era was bringing in the fifth world in the Hopi traditions. He taught us the Migration Song and shared that the prophecies warned of another migration where only those who traveled together singing a song connected by heart and collective intention would move through the shifts protected and those of two hearts promoting self interest would be less likely to live through the shifts of such massive challenges.

We all shared how so many of our ancestors packed their families in truly dire situations, never to see their homes again. While we suffered a minor inconvenience, this event gave us so much compassion for the families who have been evacuated throughout the world with no where to go; refuges held together by community and the spirits of the natural world. While heartbroken that the women who worked so hard did not get their full vacation time, I knew we got so much more. Personally, I felt like I had a premature birth. Being in regeneropause, I know that this baby is made of wishes, prayers, visions and hopes for a co-creative dream to be the beauty we wish to see in the world. I am grateful to be among such wise, spirited and loving sisters and brothers to share this journey toward empowered liberation and unity.  I have no idea where the goddess will point our tribal compass for the twelfth goddess gathering in 2012, but this time I will get travel insurance.