Am I more interested in being real than being seen?

Mar 22nd, 2016 Posted in Thirteen Moons | No Comments »

Thirteen Moons

Am I More Interested in Being Real than Being Seen?

As we continue our sequential  journey to recover and reclaim elements of our essential selves through the Thirteen Moons process, the first several sessions take us into deep emotionally textured memory filled terrain. These sessions focus into the earlier parts of our lives  with an emphasis of locating the the source of our resources, gifts and sacred treasures- not our deficits, limitations or fears. When reunited with our innate enthusiasm for life, we awaken connection, rhythm and flow that serves as the conduit for genuine fulfillment of not only needs but also desires. This tender alumni story  invites us into an intimate soul retrieval with her lost little girl within, reminding us that it is not the magical child who is lost but our ability and permission to believe we our innately magical beings that was in need of remembrance.

~ Susan Lipshutz, LCSW, Founder

From a Thirteen Moons Sister

The authenticity of young children can be disarming. As I raise my 5 and 6 year old children, I am frequently in awe of their sheer presence. They answer questions unequivocally that many adults can’t. “What do you want to be when you grow up?” ” A unicorn doctor, of course. To help sick unicorns.” They are not afraid to be vulnerable. When someone hurts their feelings on the playground, they say it, simply: “she hurt my feelings.” There’s no projection, no passive aggression. Just the raw feeling itself. Their artwork sings with flow and freedom. They have not yet learned to mask their creativity, for fear that their art won’t be “good” or “right.”

I marvel at these qualities in my children because they have felt so lost to me for so long. The idea of leading a life that felt authentic, true, real? Honestly, I wouldn’t even know where to start. I think about the things that gave me so much pleasure when I was a precocious kindergartener. I loved to read, loved libraries, told anyone who would listen that I wanted to be a librarian when I grew up. I would drive my father crazy by taking stacks of his books at home and stamping them and writing on the first page to “check them out” to my stuffed animals.

Suffice it to say that I did not grow up to be a librarian. But I still think about it all the time. When precisely did I resign this dream? When did I become so fearful to express my guttural, second chakra desire for that which my mind refused? As a child, I felt so invisible — that no one in my life was able to see the true me. But now as a grown adult, I finally ask myself: Am I more interested in being real than being seen?

In the second installment of Thirteen Moons, we did a guided journey that welcomed back this inner child piece of me that had, for one reason or another, departed. During the journey, I visualized riding on a great vessel through the ocean. I arrive on an island where there is one house. The house is the kind you would find in Key West — large shuttered windows flung open, a gentle ocean breeze lingering through, the sun shining above. I walk into the house, and there are ceiling-high bookshelves filled with books on every wall. Great big, soft armchairs and reading lamps are in the middle of the room. A grand, antique writing desk sits off to the side. There is a elder woman in the adjacent kitchen. Without ever having met her, I know she is my Great-Grandmother, Fanny. She’s wiping the counter, as if she’s just finished making something. She gives me a knowing smile, as if to say “I knew you were coming.” I turn back to the great room, and there she is: it’s me, at about 8 years old. She sees me, and without hesitation leaps into my arms. She’s so happy. I ask her if she wants to come with me. (Frankly, I am a bit hesitant. This house is perfect and warm; why would she want to go back to snowy Chicago with me?) But she already has a bag packed and waiting, complete with my long-lost stuffed kitty, Whisper. She’s been waiting for me. She had a feeling I was coming soon. She can’t wait to meet my children. “Are we leaving now?”

It’s an extraordinary feeling, hard to put into words, of feeling like you have welcomed back a piece of your truest self, of what many would characterize as a soul retrieval. I haven’t gone back to school for librarianship just yet, and maybe that ship has forever sailed for me. But to be reunited with that authentic little girl? Perhaps she and I are now ready for both the seen and the unseen.

~ Anonymous 


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For more information about Thirteen Moons, our monthly seminar series honoring the spiritual life cycle of a woman, please visit our website


The Great Mother is walking us to our new classroom

Jan 10th, 2012 Posted in Cosmic Mother | No Comments »

Like most of us, I have been anticipating how the “reality” of 2012 would feel once the page on the calendar turned from 12-31-11 to 1-1-12. Reality itself has become more subjective with the amount of upheaval, change and synchronicity that can cause us to ask, “did that really happen or did I imagine it?” on a regular basis. As a student of all things mystical that can translate into our practical lives, I have found astrology to be a tremendously useful tool to bridge these realms. This ancient practice can serve to guide us through our modern age of transformational waves and shifts on all levels.

As I was wondering about how we could better navigate the uncharted waters we were sailing into, I became aware of the significance of this full moon as a positive force that, like most key remedies, can be hidden in plain sight. Most spiritual teachers and elders are speaking of the importance of the re-awakening and anchoring of leadership to feminine principles of creativity and care for all life. Several years ago, the Dalai Lama stated at a lecture that the western woman would heal the world. This requires that all of us, men and women alike, need to go within to cultivate a true understanding and meaningful relationship with the sacred feminine. We must nurture these seeds of deep and rich understanding that connect us to the most mystical core of the universal soul.

While this can sound confusing and overwhelming, the most natural way to surrender to this kind of instinctive spiritual knowing is to remember that we all began our journey held in the womb of the mother. This concept can sometimes trigger a strong reaction, activating our resistance born from challenging maternal relationships and cultural programming. Though individuation is essential to our selfhood, we may have separated from our mothers without remembering that we can still be connected to the greater spirit of Mother love. The mother/child bond is so powerful that it can engulf us in fear of dependency or losing this connection with source. We are surrounded by belief systems that tell us it is weak to need support but at the same time, we are aware that we were once so dependent, tiny and in need of total care. This contradiction can sit in the base of our shadow motives and create an overly developed need for self-sufficiency, endless craving for comfort or general tension with being “mothered” by the feminine.

If we could really remember what it was like to be babies; we would get in touch with the primal energetic understanding that the warm protective nurturance we seek is already part of us. Being a therapist, I am acutely aware of how many people did not, even in utero or early infancy, get a safe maternal haven to set the template for this vibration. However, that is exactly why most of us can remember a safe place in nature where we took refuge, whether the backyard tree, a family pet, nearby pond or the rhythms of a spring rainstorm. We were calmed by an aspect of our living natural universe that brought us into a state of internal peace. In this centering, we felt the comfort that can be traced to the heartbeat of self and the source of life; the Mother.

Most mystical and all Earth-honoring indigenous teachings are centered in the understanding that we are all connected to a physical source which holds the energetic resonance of the Divine Mother. As the glue of the cosmic family, she fiercely protects and loves all of her children. This mother is a creatrix who holds not only the planet but the universe in her endless lap of love. She is grieving the reckless ways we have forgotten how to love something enough to protect it, just like Demeter grieved the loss of her daughter Persephone. By reclaiming our birth experience as conscious adults, we can have access to a powerful remedy for fear. If we can calm our fears, we can use our inner knowledge to step beyond worry into co-creative conscious living. It is a proven fact that when kids know they are safe and nourished, they are more confident learners and can tap into their innate potential. We are all those grown up kids with an ever-present maternal resource. Do we have the courage to let go of the self-protective coating of resistance so that we can surrender into the arms of the Cosmic Mother? Are we willing to let her hold us as we strengthen our collective core and take higher ownership of humanity?

When I realized that this particular full moon, coming just 9 days into 2012, was in the sign of Cancer (the sign ruled by the Moon), I felt we were being protected from adversity. Cancer organizes where and how we give and receive nurturing. It is the bindi point of the Cosmic Mother Tree with roots into our ancestry and branches reaching into Great Mystery. How perfect that as we are embarking on the completion of a cycle where we are learning what happens when we forget about balance, respect and reverence, we are cast in the moon’s loving rays. This milky energy is being absorbed into our bones and is awakening our DNA codes to help us relearn how to trust, surrender and get focused on what is truly important. In other words — to wake up in mindfulness.

Consider this full moon to be the “Grand Dame” of lunar events for the year as this Great Mother energy will continue to be reactivated in each cycle of 2012. Normally each moon is influenced by a sign for two and a half days until it goes void and then moves into the next sign. For example, on January 10th, the moon moves into Leo for two and a half days and keeps cycling through the signs for each of the thirteen full moons. What’s different this year is that the last full moon of 2012 returns to the sign of Cancer! This unusual mother moon tent will offer us protection while we go through our collective rebirth.

Though we do not know where the cosmic forces will take us over these much-anticipated 365 days; we are being held in a luminous net of support that invites us to have a good time, take care of each other, live our gifts and return home intact. As Andrew Harvey states, “the future of the world depends on the full restoration of the Sacred Feminine in all its tenderness, passion, divine ferocity and surrendered persistence”. Let’s welcome this port in the dark night as we await the dawning of a new era of hard work, hope and possibility.